leftovers - aesop's fables

I worry that my recent attempts to rewrite a few morals from Aesop’s Fables might come off as mocking so I thought I would take a different approach today – here's a story I thought got it spot-on.

'The Lion and The Dolphin' – one day, a lion at the beach notices a dolphin. He notes their complimentary skills – the lion is strong on land while the dolphin patrols the sea. The lion proposes an alliance and the dolphin accepts.

Later, the lion, long at war with a bull, calls on the dolphin to help. The dolphin does not help and the lion is enraged. The dolphin responds – don’t blame me, blame nature, who has not allowed me to walk on land.

Moral: Make alliances with those who can come to our aid in times of danger.

The basic point of this story is simple – a lot of times, we do things ‘just because’ and fail to think through it properly as a result. Alliance making is one of those things because it seems better to have allies than to not. But if the allies cannot help us, all we’ve done is taken on additional obligation for no benefit. Think of how vulnerable the lion will be when paddling out into the sea to help the dolphin!

The importance of complimentary skill sets is another such thing. Again, it seems better to have complimentary skills with those we partner with. But it is important to understand the purpose of the partnership. If the need is for basic manpower, the blind insistence on finding good compliments will serve as a distraction rather than a guide.

aesop’s fables, remastered - part five

Good morning,

Reader, today is the last installment of my short series – please see below for my final two rewritten morals from Aesop’s Fables.

Enjoy.

Tim

'The Ass and The Mule carrying the same heavy loads' – two animals are trudging along a road together, each carrying the same share of weight. The ass complains and suggests the mule, being more physically capable, should carry more weight. The ass-driver notices the ass’s exhaustion and slowly shifts more of the load to the mule until the ass is no longer carrying anything. At this point, the mule turns to the ass and says – I think it would be fair if I got twice as much to eat, don’t you?

Moral: We should judge each other’s condition not just at the start but also at the finish.

What? This fable had a great name and a nonsensical moral. I actually don’t get what it means. It doesn’t help that the mule is dreadful at math – though it goes from carrying half the load to the entire load, it only asks for twice as much food as the ass. Shouldn’t it demand the whole plate?

TYC: Never have a mule negotiate on your behalf.

'The River and The Hide' – a river asks a floating hide its name. The hide responds – I am called Hard.

Find another name, says the river as it increases its current, for I shall make you Soft.

Moral: Often, bold and arrogant people are overwhelmed by the misfortunes of life.

This one made me wonder if someone had accidentally shuffled the fables and the morals. Does a river having a current count as one of life’s… misfortunes? Don’t all rivers have currents? If rivers are so bad, why are so many cities built alongside them?

TYC: The flow of daily life can change who we are.

aesop’s fables, remastered - part four

Hi all,

Today, I improve on another set of Aesop’s… morals.

'The Ageing Lion and the Fox' – an old lion lost his physical advantages and turned to trickery instead to capture his prey. He pretended to be ill, retired to a cave, and asked other animals to visit him.

A fox was invited in but figured out the trick before entering the cave. The fox rejected the invitation, announcing – more footprints point into the cave than point out…

Moral: The wise note indicators of danger.

This moral isn’t too far off the mark, quite frankly, but I think it could do better. Do we really need to invoke the lessons of CSI and conduct a thorough forensic analysis to figure this situation out? A lion is a lion is a lion, no matter how old, and the ‘indicator of danger’ is in the mane, the teeth, and the claws – not in the footprint patterns surrounding his sickbed.

TYC: Don’t forget the base rate.

'The Lion, The Fox, and The Stag' – a dying lion, still king of the jungle, calls on the fox to help him get dinner. The fox agrees to help and tricks the stag into visiting the lion by telling the stag that the lion wishes to appoint him successor to the throne after his death.

When the stag arrives, the lion pounces. The stag escapes with a cut ear. The fox finds the stag again and explains that the lion was merely trying to grab the stag in order to give him advice. The stag returns and this time the lion devours him. The fox watches on and, when the stag’s heart falls from the lion’s mouth, the fox jumps in and eats it whole.

Eventually, the lion realizes the heart is missing. He asks the fox where it is. The fox says – stop looking, for the stag had no heart. How could you have heart if you walk twice into the lion’s den?

Moral: Love of honor closes the eyes to imminent danger.

This was by far the longest fable in the book. I don’t think the length was necessary – the story could easily have made the same point if the lion had ate the stag on the first round.

As for the moral – I don’t think the story makes a very clear point about honor. I think the fox was a liar and the stag was a sucker. The fox is basically the main character here, anyway, and I think the moral would make more sense if it commented on the fox’s actions.

TYC: Those who lie for you will someday lie to you.

aesop’s fables, remastered - part three

Hi,

Today, we continue my recent mini-series where I rewrite the morals of Aesop’s Fables…

One thing I want to note before I begin. With a lot of these fables, I notice too much weight given to what is “true until it isn’t”. I think many of the stories I note for having a problematic moral fall afoul of this point. In these cases, Aesop’s foolish characters are distracted by details and unable to see why a given situation might change in the future. As always, the wise benefit from taking a longer view.

Thanks for reading.

Tim

'The Gardener Watering the Vegetables' – in this insane story, a man asks a gardener why the wild vegetables are flourishing while the cultivated ones remain puny. The gardener responds – it is because the Earth is a mother to one and a stepmother to the others.

Moral: Children fed by a stepmother are not nourished like those who have their true mother.

Goodness… I understand vilifying the stepmother is a long-running tradition of yesteryear’s literature. I’m wondering now – is this the story that started it all? In any event, we here at TOA aren’t very supportive of Aesop’s pseudo-science…

From my experience, when an inept person is in charge, some people still flourish – just like how the wild vegetables manage to excel despite the idiot gardener. But if a competent person is charge, it really doesn’t matter who is brought in because everyone will succeed in the environment.

TYC: A bad gardener blames the vegetables.

'The Jackdaw Who Escaped' – a man ties a thread to a jackdaw and gives it to his son as a pet. The jackdaw cannot tolerate captivity and tries to flee. However, in flight, the thread becomes tangled and gets wrapped around the jackdaw’s throat.

Moral: Those who cannot tolerate moderate dangers risk hurling themselves into greater peril.

There is a point of view here that makes some sense – a little discomfort must sometimes be tolerated. But keep in mind here that the ‘discomfort’ Aesop refers to is… SLAVERY… so maybe I’m not quite on the same page with our grizzled wizard of morals on this one.

TYC: If you are tied to something, untie yourself before doing anything else.

aesop’s fables, remastered - part two

Hi all,

Below, I’ve reinterpreted a few more of Aesop’s fables.

Enjoy.

Tim

'The Woman and Her Servants' – a woman’s rooster wakes up her servants every morning. The servants decide to kill the bird so that they can sleep in. The woman, no longer able to determine the exact moment of dawn without the bird, starts to wake up the servants even earlier.

Moral: It is our own devices that bring greater misery.

This is another example of victim blaming. Describing the actions of servants as ‘their own devices’? Please. The problem isn’t the time of the wake up call – it’s the fact of what the wake up call represents in the context of freedom.

TYC: Treat the disease, not the symptom.

'The Oak Trees and Zeus' – the trees complain about being chopped down and Zeus responds by telling them to be less desirable to woodcutters.

Moral: People who author their own ills foolishly blame the gods.

This is a spectacularly dumb story. These trees grow up, completely defenseless, waiting all the while to get chopped into Lincoln Logs. They raise the issue to Zeus, who is apparently some kind of leader among the gods. What does the great Zeus do about it? Not much, unless your limited concept of jurisprudence involves the ‘you asked for it’ defense.

TYC: If you don’t want to deal with a problem, just blame the victims.

'The Camel Who Shat In The River' – this tastefully named story refers to a somewhat low-intelligence camel who relieves himself in a river. Moments later, the dung he just deposited behind him is caught in the current and floats by in front of him.

The camel doesn’t understand what is going on and exclaims – what is going on? That which was behind me I now see pass in front of me!

Moral: Sometimes idiots hold sway rather than the eminent or sensible.

I thought this story was a slam-dunk for ‘shit runs downhill’ (or downstream). I’d have also accepted ‘the past always catches up to us’ or even ‘the river knows’. Alas, Aesop once more cooks up some other nonsense and, in the process, proves his inability to explain even the most basic of his stories…

TYC: Some people can’t explain shit.

aesop’s fables, remastered

Longtime readers will recall my position that the moral of the famous ‘Tortoise and Hare’ story could use some improvement. Instead of ‘slow and steady wins the race’, we could maybe try ‘fast and steady’ or even “don’t nap during a race”.

As it turns out, this was not the only fable with a questionable moral (1). I figured it couldn’t hurt for me to try and help Aesop out a little bit and offer up an improved moral when I could do so. A handful of my attempts are below.

'The Fisherman Who Played The Flute' – a fisherman tries to lure his catch by playing a flute. He gets nothing. Then, he throws a net into the water and pulls out many fish. When they wriggle on the ground, he yells at them about not dancing to the music.

Moral: Some people always do things at the wrong moment.

Uhhh…what?

My thoughts:

1. How does the fisherman know the fish weren’t dancing underwater? It seems like that would be a great time (and place) to dance.

2. Obviously, he knew enough to use the net.

TYC: Some people don’t know how to fish.

'The Fox and the Billy-Goat' – a fox falls into a well and gets stuck. He then tricks a billy-goat into coming down into the well for a drink. When the goat’s thirst is quenched, they agree to help each other out of the well. The fox gets out, then walks away, telling the goat “you should have thought of how you’d get out before you went in.”

Moral: Always examine the end result before taking action.

Ridiculous. There are several reasoning flaws in this story but the ‘end result’ idea isn’t among them. Obviously, the fox didn’t examine anything and it worked out just fine. The goat did think of a way out, he just got stabbed in the back by the fox. Stories like this encourage victim blaming and glorify an ‘every goat for himself’ mentality.

TYC: The fox is an f’ing asshole.

'The North Wind and The Sun' – the title characters have a contest to see who could get a traveler to take off his clothes. The North Wind goes first – he blows and blows, causing the man to simply wrap the clothing tighter to his body with each gust.

Then, The Sun shines brightly. As the man starts to sweat, the clothes come off. Eventually, The Sun shines so brightly that the man strips naked and jumps into a river to cool off.

Moral: Persuasion is more effective than violence.

What the hell? What could be more violent than trying to fry someone with ultraviolet rays? If I gave someone skin cancer, I sure wouldn't be described as 'persuasive'. The sun is a violent sociopath who should probably be locked up.

TYC: Dictating the way others use their bodies is violent.

Footnotes / Aesop's rocky calculus

1. It’s just math, folks.

This isn’t a dig at Aesop – with over 358 fables, he was bound to get a moral wrong here and there. These aren't criticisms, just observations!

i read aesop's fables so you don't have to

Aesop's Fables by Aesop (May 2018)

These fables are likely familiar to you, reader, for Aesop’s Fables is perhaps the most well known piece of literature from Greek antiquity. In fact, they’ve been translated and rewritten in so many formats that I had a hard time finding a suitable adult copy (1).

The copy I ended up reading contained 358 fables. Aesop generally used animal characters to observe and comment on the consequences of common human behavior. Each fable was structured in a similar way – a character or two is introduced, there is an exchange or interaction of some kind, and a moral summarizes the lesson. Outside of the morals, there wasn’t much I could pull from my reading in terms of direct insights into human nature. However, a couple of patterns did emerge over the course of these stories.

One theme considered the cynical extensions of what it would mean if someone repeated their present behavior when they encountered similar circumstances in the future. What does it mean, for example, if as a newcomer to a group you are treated very well by the members? I suppose the key is to consider what might happen when the next newcomer arrives – will your good treatment continue or will the next newcomer simply become the object of pampering? As Aesop himself points out, identity is a product of repeated action.

Another common theme rejected the hierarchy of instigators. Playing a trumpet is far less threatening than instigating a fight – unless the situation involves a trumpeter leading an army into battle. In this case, Aesop saw the musician as guilty as anyone else who took up arms.

The fables also frequently used evidence of past behavior to question the validity of a representation. In the way debtors who borrow the wealth of others can often appear more impressive than their assets, people who predict the future often appear to know more than the average observer. These people should be asked about their past predictions and, if any of them failed, challenged to provide some kind of explanation.

One consistent type of moral warned the generous from being too easy with their giving. These morals often did not resonate with me and perhaps this points to the underlying lesson of Aesop’s Fables as a whole. Since Aesop’s time, daily life has changed a great deal. Although both Western and ancient Greek society share an aspect of brutality and violence, in the West there is at least an expectation of kindness and courtesy to those we meet in the street.

Footnotes / the tortoise orders a pizza from the hare

0. A hint for serious readers - ALWAYS find the Penguin Classics edition...

Before I found the Penguin Classics edition, I went through a number of other editions that just were not what I was looking for (including a picture book aimed at preschoolers and a translation written in the same style I would have expected of a parody Sir Lancelot autobiography – ye olde tortoise this, the hare sleepeth that…).

1. No, not that kind of adult, you fool…

Given all the different versions I encountered in my book search, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn there is some kind of pornographic version of these fables out there.